Summary and Transcription (.srt)

Here’s a summary of the 22-minute, 22-second video transcript:

The speaker outlines two key tests to discern intense sexual attraction to a potential spouse: (1) when horny, who do you most want to have sex with, and (2) when not horny, do you still want to spend time, cuddle, converse, and "do life" with them? If both point to the same person who also loves God, they’re "the one." This person must align with your God-given purpose, as marriage is about mutual fulfillment of divine calling, not just compatibility or shared faith. Equal yoking depends on purpose—e.g., a spiritually mature woman called to prophecy might need a supportive husband comfortable with her leadership.

Sex is central to Christian marriage, per the speaker’s interpretation of scripture. Citing Genesis (two becoming one flesh) and 1 Corinthians 7, she argues marriage is God’s design to channel sexual desire, avoiding immorality. Apostle Paul suggests singleness is ideal for serving God undistracted, but marriage is better than burning with passion. For married couples, Paul’s advice (1 Corinthians 7:5) is to not deprive each other sexually, even if one isn’t in the mood, to prevent temptation—each spouse’s body belongs to the other. Lack of sex often underlies marital issues, making it "next to God" in importance after faith.

Sexual attraction differs from physical attraction, rooted in love, resonance, and power dynamics (per Oscar Wilde), not just looks. The speaker posits God preordains "the one" (flesh of your flesh, per Genesis), recognizable by a deep, often inexplicable sexual draw, even if they’re not the most physically appealing. Christians should date strategically for marriage, not casually, ending relationships lacking spiritual fruit or purpose alignment, regardless of charm.

For choosing a spouse, prioritize: (1) fear of God (obedience to scripture without twisting it), and (2) sexual attraction (consult yourself, as Nehemiah did). Women especially should marry men they respect and desire, not just for kids—marriages lacking this falter. Men typically won’t marry without attraction, but some chase attraction without godliness, hoping for change, which rarely works. God grants free will in spouse selection, but signs (like Abraham’s servant seeking Rebekah) can confirm His will if sought in faith. The speaker urges prayer, self-reflection, and trust in God over unreliable counsel, ending with a call to like, share, and subscribe.

Key Takeaways: Marriage hinges on God-first alignment and mutual sexual attraction tied to purpose. Sex is vital in Christian marriage, biblically mandated to sustain intimacy and thwart temptation. Choose a spouse you fear God with and desire deeply—don’t settle or overcomplicate it.

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There are two ways to discern if you have an intense sexual attraction to this person.

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Number one, when you are horny.

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Who do you want to have sex the most?

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Number two, when you are not horny at all.

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At all.

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Okay, when you are not horny at all, do you still want to spend time with them?

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Do you want to cuddle with them?

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Do you want to have conversation with them?

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Do you want to do life with them?

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When there is no sex involved, nothing sexual involved, do you still want this person?

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So, when these two both pointed at the same person, and this person also loves God, that is the one.

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Simple. That is the one. We all agree they have to love God they have to be in Christ they have to serve

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the Lord and it depends on your purpose you know what is what is equally yoke so

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is that means that to Christian they're definitely equally yoked no not really

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depends on your purpose if you're called to your woman you're called to be a Deborah, you're going

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to marry a man who is going to financially support you because you are called to be a

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prophetess and that man, you know, spiritually speaking, you are at a higher rank than him,

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you know, is that you're more mature in the spiritual realm, but that man is still your leader so he has to be okay with that. So not everybody can fulfill your purpose

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and not everyone's purpose you can help them to fulfill if you marry them. So this whole marriage

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thing is about purpose. It's about who will maximize your chance to fulfill your purpose

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that God has for you on earth.

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And it's a mutual thing.

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You help them to fulfill their purpose as well.

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Now with all that being said, we have to talk about sex, right?

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I know you guys only want to hear that part.

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So let's talk about sex.

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This is my personal interpretation from what I read into the Bible.

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And you don't have to agree with me and I already can hear a lot of people

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would disagree with me, they're going to be almost offended, whether you're a man or a

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woman but I need to just share with you what I believe.

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So first of all, when preachers are talking about marriage, they will definitely bring us back to Genesis.

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Because when people ask Jesus about the question of divorce,

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Jesus reminds them of Genesis. He said it was not so from the beginning.

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Because from the beginning, God says,

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A man shall leave his father and mother and cleave into his wife,

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and the two shall become one flesh.

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So that is God's standard for marriage. That the two shall become one flesh. And what

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did Adam say to Eve? He said, you are the flesh of my flesh, bone of my bone.

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Okay so that is all the Old Testament thing. And now in the New Testament. They only care about what Apostle Paul recommended in

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1st Corinthians. It's 1st Corinthians chapter 7 so you can read that part if

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you wanted to see like the detail of the scripture I'm not gonna put it here. So

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what it means that Apostle Paul said that you better just don't get married

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like me because it's better to serve the Lord in your singleness. As a wife, you will be

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distracted because you want to please your husband other than the Lord and

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there's a saying for men that if you have a wife you will want to please your

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wife other than the Lord. So it's better to serve the Lord in singleness. That is Apostle Paul's suggestion.

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So with that being said, he also suggests that it's better to be married than to be

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burned in passion.

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Clearly he is saying if you need sex, you need to get married.

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It's better to get married.

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Most people need to get married.

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So you can stop dating because you date to get married.

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You're basically choosing a person to get married.

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You're not just dating for dating's sakes.

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That is something we all do when we are younger or before we give our life to Christ.

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You know, and the problem about that, you know what that is?

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Is that you will met someone who you really adore.

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You enjoy being with them and you will date them, even though, you know, in your

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heart, that's not, that's not my spouse, but you will still date them.

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And sometimes you might even spend years with them just because you know it's not necessary to break

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up yet but it's also not necessary to get married so you are caught in limbo that's just a waste of

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time if you're a christian you need to be more strategic you don't date and if you go out today

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it's for the purpose of marriage and if you already see this person does not bear the fruits of the spirit, which means that they're not a real

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Christian. They don't have the quality you value in a spouse, then there's no need to

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continue the date, no matter how charming, how attractive, how funny they are, and how

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good they are at making you happy and planning out dates and all of that,

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because that's not your goal.

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So with this goal in mind, when you met new people,

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when you go on a date, it's always this question.

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Do they have what I'm looking for in a spouse?

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So that's what Apostle Paul said.

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The reason that you should get married

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is because you desire sex.

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It's to avoid sexual immorality because sex during marriage is the only type of sex

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that God approves.

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So and another thing, it's also about sex and that is for already married couple.

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This is also in 1 Corinthians 7 verse 5, do not deprave one another except with consent for a time that you may give yourself to fasting

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and prayer and count together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack

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of self-control. So again, Apostle Paul suggests married couple do not deprave one another.

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What that means is when your spouse needs sex, you need to offer that, even though you don't feel like it. So this

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is very important for a lot of women. If your husband needs sex, you provide it, because

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let the husband render to his wife the affection due to her, and likewise also the wife to

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her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise, the husband does not have authority over his

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own body but the wife does. So as a woman and as a man, you basically call on demand.

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If your spouse needs sex, you provide for it. It doesn't matter if you want it or not.

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Okay, so do not deprive one another. Now we can see. Apostle Paul stressed a lot in sexuality, in marriage.

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So it's about, if you're burning passion, get married.

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If you're already married, have sex.

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Otherwise, you will open up chances for Satan to come in and play.

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And you know, either he will tempt you with pornography, or he will tempt you straight up with adultery and you know

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even if that didn't happen any marriage that lack sexual intimacy always suffer

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and a lot of time you know if you know any like couple counseling you will

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realize that the root cause of that marriage problem is a lack of sex.

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So sex is like what my title says, the nesting to God.

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Once you meet the first requirement, God first, sex is nest.

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So I cannot emphasize more on the importance of sex in marriage. The reason that people don't talk about sexuality

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when it comes to Christian marriage is that I believe a lot of preachers, they lack sex.

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So first of all, I believe a lot of men of God, women of God, they don't get enough sex

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from their own marriage and they don't want to talk about it.

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Now another thing is that people have a misunderstanding about sexual attraction.

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It's different from physical attraction.

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So you can be attracted sexually to someone who is not that physically attractive.

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I think everybody here knows what I'm talking about, right? I don't have to elaborate on that.

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There is something that is deeper than physical attraction when it comes to sexual attraction.

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Like, you might be more turned on by someone who is a 6 or 7 than someone who is a 10.

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So why is that? There's a reason in it. And nobody knows the exact reason. The only thing you know, I can list and I can, according to my own understanding, is first of all, there's this element of love.

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You love that person, then you will be more sexually attracted to them.

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you that you just share with each other, you just resonate with each other.

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So resonant and understanding.

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And also, this is what Oscar Wilde said, sex is about power.

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There is this power dynamic.

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There is this tension, this conflict between those two individuals that it's

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not just about physical attraction.

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Like you might meet a supermodel but there's no tension between you

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and that supermodel. As a result, you might not be that much sexually attracted to her

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even though you would say that yes she is the most physically attractive woman you have ever met.

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man. Right? So, and that is, bring us back to Genesis. Adam said to Eve, you are the

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flesh of my flesh, bone of my bone. That is why, that is why there's this sexual attraction,

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that desire that you wanted to be in one flesh with this person is because they are the flesh

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your flesh, bone of your bone already before you even marry each other.

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So that is how God created because you know, God, God knew like when he formed us, he already

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planned out who are we going to get married?

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What purpose we have in this world, you know, but down the road about which point you know,

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we're going to meet that person that will fulfill and help us fulfill our purpose on earth and we will

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fulfill their purpose. God has all of this worked out before you were even born. So when

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you met the one, you will recognize that they are the flesh of your flesh, bone of your

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bone. And when that happens, you will be very sexually attracted to them. You know, they don't need to be the most physically attractive person.

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Of course, chances are high if they are physically attractive, that you might be sexually turned

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on.

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But these two things are different, but people kind of confuse them together.

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So you know, if you listen to other pastors, like my beloved pastor Vala. I listened to him probably from the beginning

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like two years ago when I just gave my life to Christ. His teaching is almost flawless

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and he has in February he posted a lot of videos about dating, Christian marriage, fighting

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I would say this, you know, I love all his teachings, but there is something that I see in his teachings that

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he emphasizes a lot about advice from other people, especially from your parent, your pastor.

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Unfortunately, a lot of us don't have his experience when it comes to parent or pastor,

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that our parent and our pastor cannot be trusted for wise counseling as he does

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so a lot of time we have to figure out by ourselves by prayer by asking the

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Lord by asking God to show us signs and wonder so don't be afraid to ask God for

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a miraculous sign for a sign okay you know like like how Abraham's servant asked the Lord for who is Isaac's wife and

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Rebecca happened to fit in to the sign that the servant asked for.

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Literally, every sign, she met it.

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So and you might think, okay, yeah, but that is Isaac.

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That's Abraham.

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That's how testaments, I know people in real life ask for signs like Abraham's servant asked and it

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happened and the Lord did answer. So there's a lot of things that God can do. You just need to trust

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him. And you know, it takes a lot of faith to ask for signs like that. I feel that a lot of people

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overthink about this. And especially men, you know, because you guys are going to be the person to propose

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and no matter, you know, a woman can know, okay, this is my husband, and so what?

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Nothing is going to happen.

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The very fact that God revealed to that woman is just to basically tell her to keep that as a secret and cooperate. But only when God tells the man, then this marriage will actually happen.

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So for man, it is very important for you to make that final decision to propose and to

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get married. Now, I think people overcomplicate things. I would just say God first. Does she

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fear God most importantly does she fear God so what is the fear of the Lord she

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keep God's commandment she is not gonna argue with you about why submit to

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husband or you know submit to one another she is not gonna have problem

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with that people who fear God take God's word very seriously they take Bible verse seriously. They do not twist it. They do not interpret

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it according to their convenience or benefit. So if it's in the Bible, they believe in it.

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And it's the same for man, it's the same for woman. So that is the fear of the Lord. And

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unfortunately nowadays, it's very hard to find a person who fear the Lord. Everybody

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everybody loves God in Western country. I don't see many fear God. And if you are a

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person who fear God, don't settle with a person who doesn't. Because they will not be able

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to fulfill your purpose. They will not. And basically, they will become the spirit of

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distraction to actually sabotage you and delay your fulfillment of your purpose. So you don't want that. So once you confirm this person is absolutely

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bona fide man or woman of God. Now second thing is not to take them to your parent,

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is not to see her parent or his parent. The second thing most importantly is ask yourself

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do I want to have sex with him? so there are two ways to discern if you have an

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intense sexual attraction to this person number one when you're horny who do you

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want to have sex the most? number two when you're not horny at all,

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do you still want to spend time with them? Do you want to cuddle with them? Do you want

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to have conversation with them? Do you want to do life with them? When there's no sex

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involved, nothing sexual involved, do you still want this person also love God that is the one simple

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that is the one you can be sure and then you can pray about it but I have to say God gave

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us a lot of freedom in choosing our own spouse because he doesn't want to take responsibility

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over our choice it's our free will to choose who we are going to marry. So even if you know, does everything align

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that God wants you to marry that person, you can still choose not to marry them. And what

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is going to happen? Nobody knows. Okay, nobody knows. But the thing is, I just want to point

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out that this is unlike your purpose. Marriage is unlike your purpose. You have a lot of

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free will in it. But God's sovereign will first, you always consult him about this person.

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And the second thing is that you need to consult with yourself. Like Nehemiah, I just read

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that yesterday. Nehemiah said, I consulted with myself. So you consult with yourself.

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Am I sexually attracted to this person? Because if you don't, okay, I have so many videos about women, Christian women's marriage, why their

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marriage suffers. It's because a lot of women, not just Christian women, okay, but you know

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that's the women in the marriage I know, they get married because they want kids. They're

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not really attracted to their husband, they don't respect them, you know, they don't admire them. So for a woman to respect a man, there

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must be something about this man that is admirable, that she admires him. If she does not respect

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this man, she will not be sexually attracted to him. And unfortunately, that kind of marriage

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happens a lot in Christian church. I have no doubt that most men are not gonna marry a woman they're not attractive to.

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Okay, you guys are for sure, you can understand this.

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I'm just saying for women, don't marry a man you're not sexually attractive.

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I'm not saying physically attractive.

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Sexually attractive.

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If you can't imagine having sex with this person. It just is repulsive. That's not the one. That's just not. People are baffling.

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Oh, they are such a man of God. There's such a woman of God. But when they say but, you

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know what they're saying, right? Or there's another scenario, which is much more common is that people are people want to marry the one they're sexually attracted to

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or physically attracted to but they know they're not man or woman of God so what they're doing is

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that they're praying that God will change them without even marrying them yet um so

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you can keep praying praying and maybe it will happen but if you just never happen after years it's time to admit that that's not the one

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okay so this is my message today i hope it helps and don't forget to like and share this video and

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subscribe to my channel until next time god bless you